Self-regulation in children

19 Jun 2025

Discover some practical ways you can help your child learn and practise self-regulation and how to help them develop this important life skill.

What is self-regulation?

Self-regulation is the ability to understand and manage your behaviour and reactions to feelings and external circumstances.

Self-regulation is important for a child's development. It enables them to learn effectively in school, behave appropriately in social settings, form friendships, and become independent.

Here are some practical ways to help your child learn and practice self-regulation:

• Enhance emotional understanding and management: Help your child develop skills to recognise and control their emotions.
• Anticipate challenging situations: Prepare your child for scenarios where good behaviour may be difficult.
• Praise positive behaviour: Acknowledge and encourage your child when they demonstrate self-regulation in challenging situations.
• Model self-regulation: Exhibit self-regulation in your own behaviour to set an example for your child.

Factors such as tiredness, illness, routine changes, and traumatic events can impact your child's ability to self-regulate. While these issues are normal, consulting a professional is advisable if you have concerns about your child’s behaviour.

Why is self-regulation important?

As your child grows, self-regulation benefits them in several crucial ways:

• Learning at school: Self-regulation enables your child to focus, sit, and listen attentively in the classroom, enhancing their ability to learn.
• Behaving socially: By controlling impulses, self-regulation helps your child act in socially acceptable ways.
• Making friends: Self-regulation allows your child to take turns, share toys, engage in conversations, and express emotions appropriately, which are essential skills for forming friendships.
• Becoming independent: With self-regulation, your child can make sound decisions about their behaviour and navigate new situations with less reliance on your guidance.
• Social-emotional skills: Helping children to self-regulate can also help them cultivate social-emotional skills such as empathy, reciprocal social interaction, social problem solving and emotional recognition.

Highlights

• Understanding self-regulation: Self-regulation is the ability to comprehend and control your own behaviour and reactions.
• Importance for development: It aids children and teenagers in learning effectively, behaving appropriately, socialising well, and gaining independence.
• Development timeline: Self-regulation starts to develop quickly during the toddler and preschool years and continues evolving into adulthood.
• How to foster self-regulation: Encourage self-regulation in your child through activities such as talking, planning, problem-solving, and setting a good example.

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