How “phubbing” affects parent-child connections

25 Nov 2025

"Phubbing", when we ignore someone in favour of our phone, can weaken how our children feel seen and heard at home.

In our busy lives, it’s easy for a smartphone to sneak into a moment of connection and quietly take priority. A recent article by the BBC explored the idea of “phubbing”, that is, ignoring the person in front of you in favour of looking at your phone. This is a very modern challenge, and one that affects family relationships, including those between parents and children.

What the research tells us

Why this matters to our children

We know that strong parent-child relationships support children’s confidence, wellbeing and readiness to learn. When children feel listened to, they’re more likely to engage and achieve better outcomes. On the flip side, when attention is regularly turned to a screen instead of the face in front of you, even small moments of being “checked out” can add up.

Proven ways to reduce phubbing at home

Here are some friendly, practical ideas for families:

• Create phone-free zones
  For example, during dinner time or the reading of a bedtime story, phones go into a “parking spot” or away from the table.
• Set dedicated face-to-face time
  Choose a regular moment (after school snack, weekend walk, before bed) where the focus is on child and parent, no screens.
• Use an “acknowledge and re-connect” habit
  If a parent must pick up a phone (for an urgent message, say), explain it, keep it brief, then return full attention. That little acknowledgement helps the child feel respected.
• Turn off non-essential notifications
  Less buzzes and pings means fewer distractions, making it easier to stay engaged in the moment.
• Model what we want to see
  Children learn by watching. When they see a parent being present, putting the phone aside, asking questions, listening fully, they learn that they matter and that meaningful connection is a priority.

Final thought

In the day-to-day rush of school runs, homework, sport and social commitments, it can feel like the screens are winning our attention. But by consciously choosing to look up, listen and really connect, we gift our children the message: you matter, you’re worth my attention. And that matters for growth, for learning and for life.

Let's work together to keep strong, healthy connections at home and at school.