Friendships and conflict

02 Apr 2025

drawing of two angry children facing eachother with their arms crossed

During primary school children go through many stages of making friends and along the way will experience conflict at some stage.

Friendships are an essential part of childhood, and as children navigate their primary school years, they experience both the joys of friendship and the challenges of conflict. Learning how to manage disagreements is a natural and important part of developing social and emotional skills.

It is normal for children to experience conflict from time to time. These moments help them understand what works in friendships and what doesn’t. However, children can sometimes confuse everyday disagreements with bullying. Understanding the difference is crucial:

Misunderstanding – Often a result of communication issues.
Disagreement – A situation where both parties want their own way and cannot agree.
Conflict – A problem that people want to resolve, though it may persist if not properly addressed.
Bullying – Repetitive, targeted, and deliberate behavior intended to harm, with no attempt at resolution.

When children encounter conflict, it presents a valuable teaching opportunity. Young children may need guidance and emotional support, while older students can often navigate conflicts independently. The key is to provide support without immediately stepping in to solve the issue for them.

Reflective listening

One of the most effective ways to offer emotional support is through reflective listening. This involves truly hearing what your child is saying, identifying the emotions behind their words, and reflecting them back. For example: “It sounds like you felt really frustrated when you didn’t get to play your game.” This approach validates their feelings and encourages problem-solving.

Life skills

Through conflict, children learn valuable life skills, including:

How to negotiate and compromise
How to communicate effectively
How to resolve disagreements peacefully
How to build empathy and understand different perspectives
How to function well in a group setting
How to develop positive, healthy relationships in the future.

By guiding children through these moments with patience and understanding, we help them build resilience and essential social skills that will serve them well throughout life.