Self-regulation — the ability to manage our emotions and energy levels — is a complex skill even for adults. It’s what lets us keep calm in traffic, avoid snapping in frustrating situations, and maintain focus in the face of distractions. For children, learning self-regulation is a cornerstone of their social, emotional, and academic success, and it can set the tone for their behaviour and engagement in learning environments.
Dr. Stuart Shanker, a renowned expert on self-regulation, has explored this concept in depth. He describes five states of arousal:
- asleep
- drowsy
- hypoalert
- calmly focused and alert
- hyperalert and flooded.
The fourth state — calm, focused, and alert — being the ideal zone for both learning and behaving well. When children are in this state, they’re more receptive to information and can interact positively with others.
However, like adults, children’s states of arousal fluctuate, especially after meals, during long periods of inactivity, or when overwhelmed by their surroundings. Recognising and managing these changes in children is vital for fostering their ability to regulate emotions. Teachers and caregivers often help by adjusting the environment, for instance, encouraging movement after sitting still too long or providing sensory breaks when energy dips.
Factors that foster self-regulation in children
Several key elements contribute to a child’s ability to self-regulate effectively:
- Physical activity and play: Children need ample opportunities to move and engage in play. Real, outdoor play provides sensory stimulation, which helps balance their energy levels, keeping them calm and engaged. Early childhood centres often incorporate various activities to help children maintain steady energy levels and focus.
- Loving relationships with adults: Children thrive when they feel supported by caring adults. Positive interactions and emotional connections with grown-ups help children develop the confidence and security needed to manage their energy and emotions effectively.
- Diet and nutrition: A balanced diet is crucial for maintaining steady energy levels. High-sugar foods can cause spikes and crashes, impacting a child’s ability to stay focused and calm. Nutritious, steady-energy foods help them maintain a balanced state throughout the day.
- Adequate sleep: Quality sleep is essential for emotional regulation. A tired child is more likely to experience energy crashes, which can lead to irritability, lack of focus, and behaviour challenges.
- Limiting screen time: Excessive screen exposure can contribute to anxiety and hinder a child’s ability to self-regulate. Dr. Shanker emphasises the importance of limiting screen time to help children stay grounded and calm.
Parenting author and educator, Maggie Dent, talks about the challenge of self-regulation and how to help children regulate their emotions.
Barriers to self-regulation
When children lack opportunities for physical movement, sufficient sleep, or positive adult interactions, they’re more likely to experience difficulties in regulating their emotions and energy. High levels of screen time, combined with poor diet and inconsistent sleep, create additional challenges. These factors often result in outbursts, tantrums, and behaviour issues, and they can make learning and focus difficult.
Encouraging self-regulation skills early
Building self-regulation skills in young children is one of the most valuable things parents, caregivers, and educators can do. These skills aren’t measured on standardised tests but are foundational to a child’s overall development. Introducing children to calming techniques, such as deep breathing, and monitoring their time with screens, can all foster better self-regulation over time.
Self-regulation doesn’t develop overnight, and adults play a critical role in guiding children to recognise and manage their own energy levels. By providing the right environment and support, we can help children build the emotional and behavioural skills that will serve them for a lifetime.
